The Abby Report: October 29 - November 5

Abby continues to surprise and delight us with her talking.

A couple of highlights from the last week include her demanding that a friend "share," by which she meant "give that to me." Another particularly cute instant came when she was pulling her clothes from her drawer and telling her Mommy about the "hearts" and "polka dots" on some of her outfits.

Halloween was a big hit as well. Abby went as a butterfly this year. As it turns out we live about three blocks away from one of the best streets in Chicago to trick-or-treat. In fact, thousands of kids come from all over the city every year. Abby walked farther I think then she's ever walked before, and she got the hang of things pretty quickly. She's still a little young for candy, but fortunately she has absolutely no idea what candy is. So she was happy to hold the colorful packages for a few seconds and then put it into the bag that I was carrying for her.

She saw many interesting things - costumes, decorations, etc, and she only got scared once. It was a lot of fun.

And don't worry about all that candy. Mommy and I found a home for it.

The Abby Report: July 28 - October 28, 2010

I've obviously been remiss in posting as of late, and this won't really be a proper post either. It's just a quick update on memorable things that Abby has been up to, so we can remember them for posterity.

Today she saw a neighbor's puppy, and right now she's in her room talking to her boppies about the puppy.

Recently, she has become absolutely entranced by crayons and chalk. She walks all over Palmer park with chalk in hand and leaves her mark wherever she goes. She is also very well practiced at asking for paper, coloring on the paper, balling the paper up, throwing the paper away and asking for more paper.

Speaking of paper, she has taken a liking to cleaning. She will scream for a wipe, which she pronounces "bop," or a paper towel ("papuh tow"), and proceed systematically to wipe down everything that she can reach. She's also washing herself in the bathtub.

Last Wednesday was a special milestone. Abby sang the ABC song all the way through for the first time (so far as we know). On the downside, last Friday night, she awoke at about midnight, and screamed the ABC's at the top of her lungs for about an hour and 45 minutes. She didn't miss a beat, though, and she woke up at her customary 5:30 am the next morning.

Also last week, when I picked her up from daycare on Thursday, she said the following very clearly, "unos, dos, tres, quatro, seize, [s]iete, ocho, nueve."

Another fascination as of late is with helicopters "hetoter" and airplanes "airpane." Every morning on the way to daycare, I leave a little early, so I stop at Unity Park and watch the airplanes on the way to O'Hare fly over. Usually, we see the traffic helicopter over the interstate, and every couple of days, it flies right overhead. Abby absolutely loves it and will talk about all the way to school.

There has been some movement on the potty training front as well. A couple of weeks ago, I went to pick Abby up, and the caregivers said that she was "in the potty." Needless to say, that got my attention. Evidently, the older girls like to go the bathroom together, and they all sit on the potty together and talk. Abby has been very curious about this, so the caregivers asked her if she wanted to sit down as well. And of course, she took them up on it.

Speaking of potty-related things. If Abby catches you kneeling down, she will walk up behind you and check you for a ... let's say... dirty diaper. After making sure that you don't need a change, she gently and lovingly pats you on the head. This, evidently, is what they do at daycare. No one is safe from this treatment, she has done it to children and adults alike.

On a final note, she is in love with a spanish song, called "Los Pollitos." She knows that we can make the computer play the video, so whenever she sees the laptop open, she insistently says "pio, pio, pio" to indicate her desire to watch it. This turn of events has ended any possible hope that I have of working when she is with me.

That's it for now. I don't have a lot of time these days, so I will just be jumping on here to catalog things for the time being.

When things settle down, I will get back into more regular blogging.

The Abby Report: June 17 - July 27, 2010

I know, I know. It's been a long time since I posted. Well we have been too busy living life to write about living life.

The big news on Abby is her talking. She's using a lot of new words, including "Elmo," "Eww," "blueberry" (which she pronounces ba-ba-ey). She has also started recognizing letters of the alphabet. She's knows by sight and can say "A," "B," "C," "M," "O," "P," W," "Y," and "Z." The cutest is "W," which she pronounces as "dubby."

She had an ear infection last week, and I had to keep her in for most of the last ten days or so. That has not been fun as she gets very, very bored when she can't go outside and play.

As a matter of fact, she is pushing me away from the computer right now.

The Abby Report: May 29 - June 16

Abby is really starting to take talking seriously.

She is learning new words at the rate of about one every two to three days. Some notables are as follows (I will list the word and how she pronounces it.):

flower - "fwowy" She loves flowers. I take her on long walks around the neighborhood, and we look for flowers together.

ciao - "choow" This is what the day caregivers say when she leaves, and she answers them!

shoes - "shoooz" - She loves shoes, mostly because when I put them on (hers and mine), it means we are going outside.

outside - "tside" She absolutely loves to to go outside. She will often say this first thing in the morning, and when the word is uttered, she lights up and starts looking for her shoes.

ABC - "aee," "beee," "tsee" - We sing the ABCs song, read the ABCs book, and play with the ABCs toys. She is getting a good running start at learning her ABCs. She recognizes letters in different contexts and will point at them and start saying this. Note: she doesn't yet recognize specific letters, she just knows that all the little shapes (letters) that she sees everywhere have something to do with these sounds. She is very interested in this, so I don't think it will be long before she makes some real progress.

cheese - "chee" Let's just say that cheese is a go-to food for our little Abby.

Hi and Bye. "Hi" and "Bye"

Apple - "apple"

Yep. She's a chatty one. And I have a feeling that she'll have a lot to say going forward.

The Abby Report: May 26 - 28, 2010

Abby loves books.

I've said it before, but it's worth saying again.

For at least the last several weeks, she has been doing something that is exceptionally cute. If you are sitting on the floor, she will grab a book, and with an excited grin on her face toddle over to you. Then, she turns around, and plops herself down in your lap with the full expectation that you will read the book to her. As if that wasn't enough, she will occasionally miss your lap and sit down some distance away from you. This doesn't stop her though, and she fusses until you start reading.

Her favorite books are "Five Little Honeybees," "ABC's" by Charlie Harper, "Touch and Feel Farm," "Colors Bright Baby," and "In My Meadow."

The Abby Report: May 24 - 25, 2010

Abby had a bit of a mishap at day care yesterday.

First off, she is absolutely fine, so there's no need to worry.

So, I got a call from the caregiver (I'll call him "F.") yesterday afternoon. And let me tell you, there's no faster way to get adrenaline into your system than to get an unexpected call from the person who's watching your child.

It turns out that Abby tripped and fell face-first into the rounded corner of a child-sized table. She bloodied her lip and nose and was, needless to say quite shaken up. F called me immediately after they had calmed her down, and we decided that since she had returned to normal playing that there was no reason for me to come and pick her up early. They texted me a picture of her (gotta love the technology), and she was happy as a lark.

When I did pick her up, she was more or less fine. Her upper lip was a bit swollen, and it was apparent that she was a bit sore. She got disproportionately upset about an unrelated issue (I wouldn't let her play with my keys until after I had unlocked the door) when I got her home, so I assumed that she was in a little pain. I gave her some Tylenol, and after about fifteen minutes she was right as rain.

It occurred to me that it must be very difficult for the caregivers in situations like this. Children get bumps, bruises and bloody noses all the time. It is, if you'll recall, a normal part of growing up. But I'm sure that quite a few parents really flip out when stuff like this happens. Since this was the first time that Abby really did a number on herself and the first time that they felt the need to call me, they had no idea how I might react.

The other caregiver (I'll call her "C.") was quite upset by the whole thing. When I picked Abby up, and they were telling me what happened, C started to get upset all over again. She very obviously cares greatly about Abby, as does F. We are very lucky to have good caregivers.

Abby slept like a brick last night, and when she woke up, she was raring to go.

The Abby Report: May 12 - 23, 2010

Abby is a determined explorer.

And by determined, I mean that once she gets it into her head that she wants to explore a given area or object, she gets very upset if you she isn't allowed to do so. And Abby's being upset is getting more and more like a full-fledged tantrum.

Don't get me wrong, she is every bit the cute, charming and lovely little girl that she's always been, but she is hard-headed and stubborn as well.

She has taken to her dolls in a big way over the last couple of weeks. She started pushing her own stroller around, so we bought her a little stroller and doll to play with. She now has three dolls, and she plays with them quite a bit. She is very affectionate with them (most of the time). She will pick one up, give it a big hug and bring it to you to hold. But as cute as that is, its nothing compared to the cuteness of watching her put a doll in her little stroller and push it around.

She was a bit tired when we first gave her the stroller, so she was easily frustrated. Amazingly, she knew exactly what to do with the doll. She KNEW exactly what to do, but the actual physical execution of her plans was quite difficult for her. She got the doll in the stroller, but then tipped the stroller over. She screamed in frustration for five seconds and then righted the stroller, knocking the baby out in the process. After screaming again for five seconds, she tipped the stroller over backwards, and put the baby back in. She then pushed the stroller back up and, happy as a lark, walked around to see her baby.

The problem, of course, was that since she had put the baby in while the stroller was tipped backwards, when she righted the stroller, the baby was upside down in the seat. This was simply the last straw, she shrieked in horror, fell to the ground and started beating the floor. She was so angry! Typically, our strategy is to let her figure things like this out for herself, but at this point, we went over to help her get her doll in the stroller properly.

But there is a general formula here of Abby's life. It is very clear that she has ideas and plans that she is unable to physically execute. This often causes her great frustration, but it does motivate her to try new things and to develop her skills.

But we are going to have to work on her temper.

The Abby Report: April 29 - May 11, 2010

Abby is very smart.

No really, she is. She can stack her ten nested cups in the proper order, and she can also nest them again. She's become quite proficient at completing her Melissa and Doug puzzles as well. She's really fast with the African animals puzzle and is quickly mastering the sea creatures one as well. She has a shape-matching toy that she is able to complete. And finally, she is starting to be able to identify pictures in her books. If you ask her where the "cat" is in her Baby Colors book, she will turn to the correct page and point at the cat. She can also find the "baby." More to follow, I'm sure. She really does seem to have turned on her noggin as of late.

Her walking is getting better by the day. She still has the lock-kneed baby gait, but she is no longer holding her hands up at chest level. Now that she has the walking thing figured out, she has turned her attention back to talking. New words are "ta-ta," which means "cat" and "da da" which means "daddy" or (much to Mommy's pleasure) "monkey."

One final very cute note, I mentioned before that Abby loves the playground, particularly the slide and the swing. Well, now she also loves the twirling seat. She simply cannot get enough of these things and cries when she is removed. Her newest innovation with the slide is to go down head first on her belly. It actually works much better, and she shrieks with excitement as she goes down.

She's a handful. Let me tell you.

The Abby Report: April 20 - 28, 2010

Abby is a learning machine.

She had a big week with lots of accomplishments and progress.

Last Friday when I picked her up from daycare, she walked over to me. It was all I could do not to burst into tears on the spot. For some reason the walking is hitting me especially hard. I am realizing that I am very sentimental when it comes to my children.

She has also learned where her feet, nose, ears and tummy are. All you have to do is ask her, and she'll show you. Her favorite toy has quickly become a little animal puzzle, which she can actually put together. We are going to get her some more puzzles this weekend.

It's also worth mentioning that she is the champion among 13-month-olds on the slide. She absolutely loves it, and she doesn't appear to have any fear whatsoever (a fact that I'm not entirely sure that I'm all that happy about).

She had a visit from her Poppy and Yaya this weekend as well. They had a long layover in Chicago and took the opportunity to come by. They took her out for a little ice cream, which by the way she enjoyed immensely. It was by far the biggest slug of sugar she's ever had in one sitting and after about ten minutes, her eyes got very big, and she got very, very animated. This lasted for about 30 minutes, and then she calmed way down. Ahh...the sugar rush.

It was a great week!

The Abby Report: April 4 - 19, 2010

Abby loves to eat.

The big news as of late has been Abby's transition from the bottle to solid food. I can happily announce that she sits for three meals a day and is down to just one bottle, which we give her just before she goes to sleep.

Her absolute favorite foods are yogurt, mandarin oranges and extra sharp cheddar cheese. She has also taken an intense liking to pineapples, whole wheat bread, deli turkey and ravioli, and she eats broccoli, black beans, rice, tomatoes, chicken, peaches, apples, pears and sweet peas. She has done amazingly well through the process and seems to greatly enjoy eating real food.

The other big development is her progress on walking. She walks instead of crawls more and more every day, and she is getting quite a bit more proficient. She can walk, stop, turn and head off in a different direction, and she can stop, stoop, pick up objects and carry them around. She is, thus, officially a toddler. It is bittersweet to say the least.

She is talking up a storm as well. There's not yet much in the way of clearly articulated sentences or words, but she is always saying something.

She's growing up.

The Abby Report: March 27 - April 3, 2010

Abby learned a very valuable lesson on Thursday (4/1).

You never know what might happen when you press a strange button.

Mommy was watching Abby explore the foyer which is usually blocked off with a safety gate. During this excursion into unknown territory, she encountered an intriguing little white box on the wall at just the right height for her to touch.

The box had a glowing green light and a great big BUTTON! Abby, a natural born button pusher, paused for a moment to consider whether she should press the button. She thought about all the other buttons she had ever pressed. Pressing those buttons had caused all sorts of interesting things to happen. Lights had flashed. Music had played. Bells had rung. Whistles had whistled. What would happen when she pressed this new button?

"Well," Abby mused to herself, "There's only one way to find out." And in a flash that surprised Mommy, she switched directions, darted the two foot to the button and pressed it.

So it turns out that the button initiated a test of the carbon monoxide detector. Rather than attempt to describe to you what this means, I strongly suggest that you stop reading this and go test your own carbon monoxide detector. If you don't have one, a smoke alarm test should suffice.

Needless to say that a test of the alarm was not the effect that Abby had imagined, and she was not at all pleased with this sound. In fact it took several minutes of hugs and kisses from Mommy before she stopped crying.

On a final note, for the first time. Ever. Abby did not appear to have any interest whatsoever in pressing a newly discovered button a second time.

In other news, Abby is starting to get serious about her walking. I have seen her walk short distances on her own (without me there playing the walking game). And she stands unsupported most of the time. It won't be long before she's running off to college.

The Abby Report: March 12 - 26, 2010

Abby is now a one-year-old.

It's been a while since my last post, and the time has been well spent. Abby has been to the doctor, visited her grandparents (my parents) in South Carolina, met her great-grandmother for the first time and had a birthday party. Among other firsts during the last two weeks were going to the beach, touching a horseshoe crab, tasting sand, eating leaves, encountering a horse and eating cupcakes and ice cream.

She has several new teeth - three that have actually broken through and two more that are close behind. So she is full-on teething right now and is in a bit of discomfort. This hasn't really slowed her down however.

As a little slice of life, I sometimes put all the cushions from the sofa and chairs onto the floor of the living room. This makes it possible for her to climb onto the sofa and basically jump off of it onto the floor. She absolutely loves it when I do this. She jumps up and down on the sofa. Rolls around on the cushions, giggles and plays. It is great fun.

Also, Abby wanted to say a big "Thank you" to her grandparents and especially to her aunt and uncle for hosting and organizing her birthday party. It was a lot of fun, and she got lots of great new toys. Thanks to everyone for a wonderful first birthday!

The Abby Report: March 4 - 11, 2010

Abby can walk.

...for short distances...when she feels like it.

Yesterday (March 10) was the big day, and I got it on video. She has been doing this sort of stumbling fall for the last week or so, but yesterday, she stood, took a step, stopped, took four more steps to Mommy and hugged her. So, crawling is still her preferred method of locomotion, but I imagine that she'll soon see the benefits of being upright.

Her talking and communication is also continuing to develop. She knows a Spanish word now, "Papi," which means "Daddy" (of course), and she has learned to blow kisses. And let me tell you, that is spectacularly cute.

So she's finishing up her first year of life with a nice little burst of accomplishments. Her birthday is less than a week away. It's bittersweet for dear old Dad.

The Abby Report: February 23 - March 3, 2010

Abby will soon be a one-year-old.

And I must admit that this is difficult for me. She's simply not a little baby anymore. She's a toddler.

And speaking of toddling, she is right on the brink of walking. She can stand on her own and does so often. And she can take up to three running steps before she falls forward. It won't be long now before she's doing the real thing.

Abby's big project as of late has been her talking. She is very talkative. She will look at you and chatter with all of the intonation of a competent speaker. It is very clear that she is talking to you. When something upsets her, something like a little fall, she looks at you and jabbers about what happened to her. Her tone captures righteous indignation perfectly.

Her new thing is to wave and say "Hi." She does this a lot. Always when she hasn't seen you in a awhile, or if you haven't played with her in awhile. It is absolutely adorable.

So, life with Abby is going well, and we are all looking forward to our trip to see Grandma and Grandpa. Her aunt is throwing her a birthday party!

The Abby Report: February 13 - February 22, 2009

Abby has had quite a run over the last 10 days.

First off, she is becoming quite the chatterer. She has started to use "hi" while waving quite proficiently, and she appears to be working on "Abigail" though it comes out "Abe-[garble]." But she's getting there. It will be her first three-syllable word.

She's has also become quite a bit more forceful in her opinions. We are seeing what I think it is safe to call proto-tantrums. They are very intense, and Abby acts as if she is physically hurt. But they only last as long as it takes for us to distract her. Ominously, this amount of time increases daily.

A funny thing happened the other day. Abby's day care providers have an sound-activated electronic bird in a little cage. It sings, spins and bobs its head for a few seconds when you tap to cage or make a loud noise. They use this to help distract the babies while they are eating their solid food. They strongly recommended getting one for home because it is especially effective in getting Abby to eat all her food. Well, I found one in a store, so I bought it. We brought it home, hung it in the corner of the kitchen to use when Abby is being persnickety, and quickly forgot about it.

The next day after finishing her food, Abby was sitting in her high chair. Suddenly and with obvious purpose she fixed her gaze straight ahead and opened her mouth as wide as possible. She held it that way for ten seconds or so, closed her mouth looked at us. Then did the same thing again. Over and over for about a minute. We talked to her, but she would ignore us while she had her mouth open. It was like something was right in front of her that she wanted to eat. Mommy and I thought for a moment that she'd lost her mind. She has never done anything like this before, so we were getting a little worried about her.

Mommy picked her up, but she kept doing it., staring at the same spot. I suggested that Mommy walk her in the direction that she was staring so we could try to figure out what she was looking at. After a few steps, it became clear that she was staring at the bird. She promptly opened her mouth again. Then it became clear that she has come to believe that opening her mouth makes the bird sing, and she was doing this just so she could hear it.

So of course we turned it on for her.

One more bit to report. She has started to enjoy handing toys to Mommy and Daddy. I wouldn't go so far as to say that she is sharing, but its a start.

The Abby Report: February 4 - 12, 2010

Abby is quite the talker.

And she does the cutest things with her new words. It's particularly adorable when she pauses in her playing, raises her arms in the air and yells "Abby...baby" at the top of her lungs. It appears that her reflection in the mirror is often the inspiration for such displays. She has also started to yell "baby" when she's in her crib and ready to get out and start her day. So here's the picture, it's 4:50 am, and Abby has been quietly chattering in her crib since around 4:20 am. She decides that she's ready to get up, so she starts yelling "baby." It is very funny though it would be funnier a little later in the morning.

She has also become quite a bit more sophisticated in her play. She has put the rings back on the rack and stack in the correct order completely unaided at least three times. And one of those times, I actually watched her working it out. To refresh your memory, the blue ring is the largest and goes on first, and the green ring goes on second. Well, Abby put the green ring on first and then the blue. She stopped for a moment and looked closely at the resulting set-up, crunched her brow, and then pulled them both off again. She had one ring in each hand, and she looked at both of them and seemed to forget which was which because she made the same mistake when she put the rings back on the post. When she realized it, she got angry, and dumped the rings off. But then she picked up the blue one, put it on the post, followed by the green one. She looked closely at the two rings, now properly stacked, and smiled broadly. She then put the other rings on in the right order. It was quite amazing to see.

Can you tell that I'm proud of her?

The Abby Report: January 27 - February 3, 2010

Abby has yet another cold.

It has, indeed, been a tough winter on that front, but our hope is that her immune system will be better prepared when she starts school. So in a very real sense, getting colds now is a good thing. And the more colds the better. On the other hand, there is not much that is more pitiful than a baby with a cold.

On a happier note, Abby has definitely stepped up the talking. Firstly, she chatters all the time. She'll fix your gaze and let loose with a long string of intoned sounds. It is clear that she has things on her mind and that she wants you to know about them.

She is also a good mimic and gets better by the day. If she's in the right frame of mind and if you have her attention, she will mimic quite a few one or two syllable sounds (or at least the intonation pattern).

She is working on saying "thank you," which usually comes out more like "tank choo." She has just started to say this when you give her something (or when she takes it). She also says "baby" and "Abby," though the latter is coming out "ab-uh." These are more or less mimicking at this point, as she has really hasn't said them unprompted. But I am giving those prompts only at certain times, so it should't be long before she gets the hang of them.

I can officially announce one new word (she says it unprompted and in a particular context). The word is "ow," and the circumstances are actually quite funny. Mommy and I say "ow" to teach her that things hurt. (This is a tactic for laying the groundwork for discipline.) So she will smack you with her hand, smile, and say "ow." She's obviously got the meaning all wrong, but she's definitely saying the word.

I love that she's working on the talking, and I can't wait to be able to find out what she's thinking about.

The Abby Report: January 15 - 26, 2010

Abby has been a busy little girl.

She has added several new words to her repertoire. She, of course, says "Mama" and "Dada." She's still using them somewhat interchangeably, but she mostly calls me "Dada" and Mommy "Mama." She also makes these sounds randomly, but it is clear that she is using them to mean us at times. She is still saying "book" in the unvoiced way, so it comes out "pook."

She has also started saying "uh oh" quite a lot. She chatters it incessantly, but she's definitely using it correctly sometimes. It comes out when she drops something or spits up.

In general she's really picked up the mimicking, so she's said some other words while copying Mommy or myself. She started saying "baby" on the day before yesterday with Mommy. I've been working on "Abby" with her, but I haven't gotten her to say it yet.

She also had wonderful visits from her Pops and Yaya and also from her Grandmommy and Granddad over the last two weeks. She was quite spoiled I think.

The Abby Report: January 13 - 14, 2010

Abby still has a cold.

But it looks to be reaching its peak.

It also appears that she has passed this particular nasty little virus on to her Daddy. We are thus staying under a self-imposed quarantine today and will not be going to playgroup.

On a brighter note, Abby has a big weekend coming up. She is going get a visit from her Pops and Yaya, who haven't seen her since mid-August. Boy, are they in for a surprise. Abby isn't nearly as easy to wrangle as she was then. She will, of course, insist that they chase her around, so I hope they bring their running shoes.

The Abby Report: January 12, 2010

Abby has a cold.

And with her cold comes a bit of an attitude.

Of course, the attitude is nothing new. Abby has always been very spirited, and the energy with which she expresses herself has grown as she has. But when she's not feeling all that well, she can get downright cantankerous. She gets frustrated when things don't work out how she plans. She is quicker to complain when you wrangle something away from her. Don't get me wrong, though. I'm not at all complaining.

Abby is very, very cute when she's angry.

The Abby Report: January 6 - 11, 2010

Abby loves basketball.

But she's not so fond of baseball.

Her uncle bought her a sport set (click the link to see what I'm talking about) that includes a basketball hoop, a baseball and a football. The baseball is set on a little arm that spins around and makes a loud clicking noise. And it turns out that Abby does not like loud clicking noises. It is the most heart-rending thing to watch. The thing clicks, Abby gets a look of panic on her face, Abby races over to the nearest Mommy or Daddy and buries her face in leg, chest or whatever she can find.

It turns out that fear is a developmental milestone, one that Abby has definitely reached. Apparently, feeling fear requires that one have a fairly sophisticated understanding of the world. The baby has to know enough about cause and effect to realize that there are things that can hurt her. Once they realize this, then things that surprise them can scare them.

Abby isn't a particularly fearful child, but there are definitely things that bother her. Interestingly, the things that scare also fascinate her, and if you are close by, she will tentatively approach the scary thing, touch it and flit back to your protection. I feel guilty for thinking that it is absolutely adorable.

On a brighter note, she absolutely loves the basketball hoop. She has become quite good and putting the balls in the net and setting off the electronic display.

The Abby Report: December 21, 2009 - January 5, 2010

I think that it is safe to say that Abby wishes everyone a Happy New Year. She is quite affectionate and always takes time out of her playing to mosey over and give hugs. So it is not a stretch to think that if she understood such things, she would say it herself.

I have grown more and more remiss in posting to the blog, a result of being busy and engrossed in the day to days of fatherhood. I have made a resolution (of the New Year sort) to return to blogging every day, and I will commence this when the semester begins on January 11.

On the Abby front, we haven't had any major milestones in the last couple of weeks, but she continues to get more sophisticated in her play socially, cognitively and in terms of hand eye coordination. She has managed to stand unaided for as long as about five seconds, and she can sit down under control rather than falling out of it. She also can walk with help, but as yet she hasn't shown much interest in doing this under her own volition. The exception to this is that she has taken to pulling up and strolling around with her walking toy.

One noteworthy innovation in Abby's play is that she likes to play chase, a game which she initiates. She'll crawl over to you, point herself towards her room and look back at you. When you notice her, she'll grin widely and start to crawl towards the little nook behind the chair in her room. She'll pause after a second and look back at you again. If you've taken the bait and started to chase her, she'll giggle and speed off towards her hiding place. It is absolutely adorable.

Until next time...

The Abby Report: December 11 - 21, 2009

Abby is going through a no-sleep phase.

Yes, our little angel, has decided that sleep is not for her. She has an amazing ability to turn a 15 minute cat nap into an all-day marathon of sleep resistance. She gets so tired that she stumbles all over herself (more than usual),

but she. will. not. go. to. sleep.

Fortunately, this phase (and we *really* hope that this is a phase) appears to only be in effect during daytime hours as she is still sleeping more or less through the night. It is, however, quite unpleasant, if for no other reason than that she is tired for much of the day. And tired babies don't have as much fun as well-rested ones.

Abby (and Daddy) is excited to have Mommy home all week. This will be the first week that Mommy has been off work and stayed at home since Abby was born. Every other time that Mommy's taken time off, we've gone on a trip. It was disappointing that we couldn't take a trip this time, but I think we will enjoy a relaxed Christmas vacation.

On the developmental front, the big news is actually with Abby's friend, E. She took her first steps on Saturday afternoon while we were visiting them. Abby is still finding crawling too efficient for her to spend serious time working out the walking thing, but I don't think it will be much longer before she does. She like to be up on her feet and is starting to show signs of being frustrated when she has to get down to crawl.

Abby has also started to say, "mama." But she doesn't appear to be making the distinction between mommy and myself when she says it. We are both "dada," but I suspect that this, too, will come shortly.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone from Abby and her family!

The Abby Report: December 1 - 10, 2009

Abby loves applause.

Her cognition continues to develop apace. She's been working on putting the rings back on her Fischer Price Rock-a-Stack for a while, and over the past weekend, she was finally able to reliably get a ring back on the post. She can do it with all of the colors, but her favorite is the big blue ring. This new skill just happened to coincide with her learning to clap her hands as well. (She can bring her hands together but she can't quite do it hard enough to generate the clapping sound).

So last Saturday Abby, Mommy and I had a wonderful time. She would put the ring on the post, and Mommy and I would clap and say "yay." It didn't take long for Abby to get into the spirit of things. And after a few minutes, she started clapping and saying "yay" too. She'd put the ring on the post (or get close to doing so), snap her head up to look at us, grin mightily, clap and yell "ayayayayay." It was one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my entire life.

I have been trying to get some video of this, so I can post it on Flickr. The problem is that you have to film Abby without her noticing it because once she sees the camera, she stops what she's doing and charges over to grab it from you. She is on a quest to get that camera, and time is on her side.

Anyway, in general, life with Abby continues to be a wonderful experience. She is cruising more often and more easily. She's likes to wrestle with me. I lay on the floor with my head next to the sofa, and she pulls up on the sofa, cruises over to me and jumps on my head with a gleeful squeal. She's also started to let go of her support when she's standing. This usually comes as a result of her being distracted, I think, and it results in a fall after just a second or two. But she's on her way to unsupported standing.

The Semester ends this week, and I am hoping to blog more often over the winter break.

The Abby Report: November 21 - 30, 2009

Abby enjoyed her first Thanksgiving.

She (along with Mommy and Daddy) went to see her Grandma Bette, Grandpa Jeff and Uncle Chris in Richmond, VA. Although she didn't like the plane rides very much, the new toys that she found at her Grandparents' house were great fun.

Yes, we flew with our little sweetheart to Virginia, and the flying experience was challenging to say the least.

On a brighter note, I have some interesting developments to report. Abby is definitely using the word "book" and has been all along. She started out pronouncing it "boo," but after a couple of days she started saying it without the voicing. So now she's saying "poo" very quietly. Note that the the p and b sounds are actually made in exactly the same way in terms of the position of the lips. The only difference between the two is whether you vibrate your vocal cords. So she's been using the word, but she's forgetting to voice it.

She's also started using "da-da" more and more often. She uses it for pretty much anyone that she likes, so I don't take it personally. She's taken to calling it out when she's in her crib and wants someone to come and get her. It is hard to resist that, I can tell you.

Her social interaction has also ratcheted up a level over the last week. She was absolutely hysterical in the airport. We were wheeling her around in a little umbrella stroller, and she was casting a wide net with her smiles and laughs. She would stare fixedly at any and every passerby, break into a big smile and laugh heartily. People were clearly reacting to her as well. She must have made at least 50 people smile in the airport.

Imagine the picture. You're at the airport. You're stressed and maybe late for your flight. Suddenly, you look down and see a cute little baby, who is staring at you. As soon as you make eye contact with her, she breaks into a huge open-mouthed smile. And she's only got two little teeth in the front of her lower gums. She squeals and laughs with unfettered joy.

She's our little bundle of love spreading happiness everywhere she goes.

And we are very thankful for her.

The Abby Report: November 13 - 20, 2009

Abby has made some cognitive leaps in the last week.

I am tentatively reporting that Abby has said her first word. The word is "book," which she pronounces "boo'."

The reason the report is tentative is because she seems to have stopped doing it for the time being. But for about three days, she was saying it consistently at appropriate times. She first made is last Friday evening (11/13) while I was getting ready to read to her. I had her in my lap, and I was getting the books books in a stack next to me. I noticed the sound, which she made about three times. After we finished reading (actually after I stopped reading - Abby is a book fiend. She never really finishes reading), I waited about an hour, and during that time she did not make the sound at all. I then presented her with one of her books and asked her, "what is this?"

She immediately looked at me and said "boo'." I tried the same thing first thing Saturday morning, and again she responded with the same sound. She made the sound at least 20 more times over the next couple of days when her attention was on her books. But then she seemed to stop doing it. I've read that speech behavior like this can sort of come and go, so I am still holding onto the idea that she was saying "book."

Another development has come in that her manipulation of her toys has become more sophisticated. We have one of those Fisher-Price toys that consists of the stackable plastic rings. I'm sure you know what I mean. Anyway, she has become quite adept at taking the rings off the post and putting them back on. She has been working on this for a while, and she gets very excited when she does it. She's very proud of her accomplishments.

And so are Mommy and Daddy.

The Abby Report: November 5 - 12, 2009

Abby is growing like a weed.

I can officially announce that Abby has object permanence. If she drops something while you're holding her she will look down for it, and if you cover something that she is playing with, she will move the covering to find it. She's been doing this for at least the last couple of weeks.

She continues to vocalize almost constantly, and it is not difficult to tell where she is and what kind of mood she's in from just the noises that she's making. She will respond to different sounds by imitating them, and she initiates conversations herself.

Her lover affair with books continues to intensify. She is always up for sitting in Mommy's or Daddy's lap and reading. All you have to do is just hold one of her books up, and she will come charging across the room to read it. She can turn the pages herself, and she has mastered the flaps in all the books that have them. She talks to the pictures in the most adorable way. Her favorites right now, are CAT, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Guess Who Abby!, Where the Wild Things Are and, of course, Where is Baby's Belly Button? But she likes pretty much anything with pictures, including magazines. She is a voracious reader, and we are going to do everything we can to encourage this.

She is cruising more and more as well.

On a somber note, she's had a mild cold for the last couple of days. And she's managed to give it to me.

The Abby Report: October 27 - November 4, 2009

Abby is keeping me pretty busy.

The big news is that twice last week (Wednesday and Friday) when I picked her up from daycare, she greeted me by squealing "Da Da!". Now I was inclined to think that this is was just a coincidence, but the books say that by this age, most babies will use "da da" or "ma ma" when their mother or father shows up. They haven't quite figured out who is who, but they are, in fact, making the association. Since then, she hasn't used "da da" when I've picked her (mainly because she's been exhausted), but she does use the sound or some approximation thereof quite often when looking at either Mommy or I.

So, I'm not ready to announce that she's said her first words, because I'm not sure. But, it might not be all that long now.

In other news, Abby's proficiency is quickly improving mostly because she almost never stops vocalizing. She is quite the babbler. Her standing is getting better and better as well. She can stand on one foot (while supporting herself, of course), and she is a lightening fast crawler. She can also "cruise" albeit in a limited fashion. It won't be long before she's walking.

The Abby Report: October 23 - 26, 2009

Abby can officially cruise.

Cruising, for the uninitiated, is when a baby can move around while standing up with support. In Abby's case, she is able to move from one piece of furniture to another that is within reach without having to sit down. She did this on Saturday (10/24). The next major milestones, which may still be months ahead, are standing without support and walking.

Yesterday marked the annual Roscoe Village children's Halloween Parade. In which (what looked like several hundred) children in their costumes marched down Roscoe from Leavitt to Damen. Abby was a Teddy Bear this year, and she was spectacularly cute. There are pictures on Flickr. We'll take some more of her in her costume on Halloween.

On a more pitiful note, our little girl seems to have contracted another cold. This one looks to be quite a bit milder than the previous one, so I don't expect her to have to stay home from daycare.

The Abby Report: October 17 - 22, 2009

Abby is inoculated!

Abby is officially immunized against both the seasonal and H1N1 strains of the flu. Her shots today were uneventful, but it is worth noting how smart she is. When she gets a shot, they lay her down on her back, and whenever the doctor (or I) tried to put her even remotely in that position, she cried in her most pitiful way. As long as we didn't put her on her back, she was fine. Of course, when the nurse came in to give her the shot, she started crying immediately and when we put her on her back, she really let it go. The nurse actually noted that she was obviously remembering things, and that she was very young to be doing that.

So, she's remembering things that happened over a month ago. Impressive, isn't it?

As for her ear infection, the doctor gave her a clean bill of health. There's no sign of it. The frog in her throat is pretty much gone, and her head congestion is completely gone. She's been sleeping well, and so have I.

The Abby Report: October 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16, 2009

Abby is finally on the mend.

After three days of fever, five days of aching ear and six sleepless nights, our little one appears to be back in fighting trim. She slept all uninterrupted through the night for the first time in over a week last night, and I am very happy for her (and for me). She still has a bit of a frog in her throat, but it gets better by the day.

On the development front, Abby's progress continues apace. She easily pulls to a stand on pretty much anything that is sturdy. She can balance unsupported on her knees for minutes on end. This usually requires her to be distracted by a toy that she's playing with. Once she realizes that she's unsupported, she tends to panic and fall over. Her verbalizations continue to grow more complex, and she occasionally makes polysyllabic sounds as well as the obligatory "ba-ba-ba," "ma-ma-ma," etc. She takes great delight when Mommy and I imitate her sounds, and when we make her sounds, she will often mimic us, grinning mightily all the while.

She spends a lot of time playing what I am calling balance games. She will pull up to a stand, and holding on to support, lean over with one foot in the air. It is truly amazing to watch her work through the various skills associated with standing, bending and sitting back down again. She is tireless.

The Abby Report: October 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11, 2009

Abby has provided me with much to discuss today.

First, she has had a cold on and off for the last couple of weeks, and yesterday she had her first fever. It wasn't serious (100.6), and we called the doctor to make sure that there was nothing to worry about. She was still running a bit hot this morning as well. The fever is responding well to Tylenol, and Abby is eating normally and in good spirits.

On a brighter note, there are a couple of funny stories to tell. Abby actually managed to catch our female cat, Mischief, the other day. Recall that Mischief is the one that scratched her a while back. So here's how it happened. Mischief was looking up at me and meowing for attention while Abby slipped up behind her. Abby had this look of complete excitement on her face as she darted (crawled at full speed) towards the cat. Then, right at the moment that she reached out and grabbed Mischief's leg, she let out a shriek of excitement. Mischief, of course, jumped out of her skin. It was clear from the cat's reaction that a nightmare was coming true for her. The little beast had caught her! Mischief ran for her life, and Abby looked up at me and grinned as I laughed out loud. You should pray for our poor cats.

In additional news, Abby is dancing. She has a little keyboard toy that plays short little songs when you press a particular button on it. Abby has figured out which button does this, and she will "stand" on all fours in front of the toy, press the button and rock front to back in time with the little ditty. When I first saw her do it and realized what I was seeing, I thought that maybe she just happened to be rocking when the music was playing. So, I pressed the button again and again and again, and she did the same little motion every time. She does it almost every time that the toy plays a song, so it is clearly in response to the music. It is absolutely adorable, and I will post a video of it shortly on Flickr.

So that's the news from our slightly sick, cat-catching, dancing baby.

The Abby Report: October 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, 2009

Abby definitely has two tiny razor-sharp teeth in her mouth and it appears to be going fully into teething.

The poor thing is obviously in some discomfort, and she didn't sleep well at all last night. We've broken out the Tylenol and teething toys, but she's not a happy little girl at all. I think she has two more teeth coming in on her lower jaw.

On a brighter note, I can report that Abby has officially pulled herself up to a full standing position. The first real instance came on Friday, October 2, which is one day shy of six-and-a-half-months old. Let me repeat that. She can pull up to a stand at six-and-half-months. She is not very good at it, and she's only successful maybe one out of 20 times that she attempts it, but she is working on it relentlessly. She's like a machine.

Her Grandmommy and granddad were fortuitously here visiting and were able to witness the occasion.

So, it looks like Abby is now beginning the project of learning to walk. Fear for us.

The Abby Report: September 27 - October 1, 2009

Abby has teeth!

Two (I think) broke through last night. They are both at the front of her lower jaw.

She has also been perfecting pulling up onto her knees and going from a crawl to sitting up.

Other than the teeth, the really big new thing is that she has really turned on the talking faucet. She pretty much chatters non-stop while she's playing. It is very cute, and it helps the cats keep track of her.

Her Grandma and Granddad are visiting this weekend and will arrive this afternoon. They haven't seen her since she was about six-weeks old, so they are in for quite a shock.

The Abby Report: September 23, 24, 25 and 26, 2009

Abby is just right.

I took her to the doctor for her six-month check up on Thursday (9/24). She is 16 pounds and 6 ounces (55th percentile) and 25.5 inches (50th percentile). According to the doctor, she is way ahead on her development. She is "very curious," "very talkative" and "very strong" for her age. None of this comes as any surprise to me, of course, but it's nice to hear it from the doctor.

She also got four more vaccinations including one for the seasonal flu. She has to back in a month for a second flu shot. We are also planning to get her vaccinated against H1N1 flu if the doctor advises it (which at this point it looks like she will).

I was impressed with her reaction to the shots. She is a tough one. She cried, of course, when she got the shots, but as soon as I picked her up, she settled right down. She's no crybaby.

At any rate, she is healthy, happy and getting into more and more trouble every day. As I write she is on the floor corralling four different toys. She appears to want to play with all of them at the same time. Oops, that must have gotten boring because now she's crawling under the chair. She's actually moving the chair!

She's a strong one.

The Abby Report: September 19, 20, 21 and 22, 2009

Abby is not at all impressed with crawling.

Almost immediately after she figured out the genuine crawling movement, she crawled over to our breakfast bar stools and started trying to pull up to a stand. She hasn't gotten up yet, but she can pull herself up to her knees with relative ease. She can also balance herself on her knees without holding on.

The doctor told me that this pulling up behavior suggests that she will be walking early. I will admit to being very proud of how quickly Abby has developed, and though I really have nothing to do with it I revel in her accomplishments. But this isn't funny. All fun aside, I really don't want her to start walking anytime soon. It is hard enough to keep up with her now.

On a different note, it also looks like she is teething. The doctor said that her bottom gums look "thick," which might indicate a tooth on its way in. There also appear to be some bluish white coloring on those areas as well. She has started to pull on her ears every now and then. So, I won't be surprised if there's a tooth along shortly.

Life with Abby has been particularly fun lately. Her personality is starting to show up, and it is delightful. She's curious, fearless, tough (she falls, cries out for a second, gets up and goes right back to what she was doing). She's also quite affectionate, clearly enjoying snuggles with Mommy and Daddy.

Another interesting turn of events is that she has absolutely fallen in love with her Mommy over the last couple of weeks. Don't get me wrong, she's always loved her Mommy, but these days she almost completely ignores me when Mommy is around. We've read the babies go through phases in which they develop a favorite like this. Her reactions to Mommy coming into the room are priceless.

So the cats dread is growing. The beast is faster and soon will have teeth.

The Abby Report: September 16, 17 and 18, 2009

Abby is officially six-months old and is recovering quickly from her very first cold.

Yes, our little one is half way to her first year. It is a genuinely strange sensation. Silly as it may be to say it, her birth seems simultaneously to be just yesterday and a lifetime ago. When I think about the past six-months in the context of my life, it feels like it has gone by very quickly, but when I think about it in the context of Abby's life it is, well, literally a lifetime ago. Perhaps that explains things, and perhaps it doesn't.

Abby woke up yesterday Wednesday morning (9/16) with a runny nose and a very pitiful little cry. She did not have a fever. She was a bit fussier than usual, but she ate normally and didn't seem to be feeling too bad. She was annoyed more than anything with the fact that she couldn't breathe well through her nose when she was trying to eat from the bottle. She also slept a tad more than normal, which is good, of course.

I took her to the doctor yesterday afternoon, and she is definitely on the mend. There is no congestion in her chest or throat, so she just has a minor little head cold. We'll watch her closely to make sure she doesn't develop a serious cough or fever, but everything looks fine for now.

On a brighter note, I found myself on the receiving end of the pepsi bottle treatment. I was in the middle of a long and necessary email to a student. She was playing on the floor with her toys but showing signs of darting off. I decided that would sit down on the floor to block her escape route and finish the email with my laptop.

Now you have to understand, that my laptop usually sits on our breakfast bar. Abby can see it sometimes when we are holding her up, and she has always been fascinated by it - from afar. Well, she saw it there in my lap. Here was an opportunity to investigate this strange thing that Daddy plays with but that is forever out of reach. So she dropped what she was doing and crawled over. Without stopping, she proceeded to climb up my leg and grab for the laptop. I rolled her over on her back and gave her a toy. She ignored the toy, flipped over and went right back for the laptop. She reachehd out with a hand, I grabbed it, and she reached out with the other hand. I blocked both hands, so she pivoted and started kicking it with her feet. I rolled her over, she bounced right back. There was simply no stopping her. I was reduced to gently pushing her away and typing furiously for the twenty seconds it took her to get back to where she could reach it. I struggled with her like this for a few minutes, thinking that she would lose interest and play with something else. Nope. She wanted the laptop. She stayed focused on it for a good ten minutes, until I finally got up and put it back on the breakfast bar. My six-month old little girl chased me away.

Man, I feel sorry for the cats.

The Abby Report: September 13, 14 and 15, 2009

Abby can officially crawl and sit up on her own.

She is still a bit shaky when she sits up, and she occasionally falls over when she gets excited. But it is definitely a matter of falling over every now and then rather than balancing for a few seconds here and there.

As for the crawling, she has actually started to perform that alternating side crawling movement. It is still interspersed with the inchworm ooze that she was doing before. She's not too fast yet, but she seems to get faster by the hour. My strategy now is to make the area where I can see her *very* interesting, so that she's not tempted to dart off to some far, unexplored corner of the apartment. This approach does not work very well.

She is particularly cute when she peeks around a corner at you. And if she's got into her head that she's coming to you, she gets mad when you walk away faster than she can follow.

Incidentally, it is probably worth noting that life for our two cats have taken a decidedly alarming term. Whereas just a week ago, they could laze pretty much anywhere they liked. This is no longer the case. Whenever they are on the floor in the living room, there is a noisy, slobbery, grabby little monster that slowly starts moving towards them. This creature is easy enough to avoid, but its just impossible for them to relax in their own home. A couple of times, when they were having a particularly thoughtful moment or restful snooze, the little beast has almost caught them. Its frustrated shrieks hurt their ears and ground their nerves as they made their hasty escape. Perhaps more alarming is the fact that the strange animal definitely seems to be getting faster. Soon, they won't be able to lay on the floor at all! What is the world coming to?

The Abby Report: September 9, 10, 11 and 12, 2009

Abby is a very determined little girl.

I took Abby to the playgroup on Thursday morning, and she surprised with me with the aggressiveness and determination with which she pursued toys. One of the dads had brought a plastic pepsi bottle, which immediately became the much sought after toy among the under one-year-old crowd. Several babies were vying for it (ever seen The Gods Must Be Crazy?), but it quickly came down to a contest between Abby and a nine-month old little girl. The nine-month old has several distinct advantages. She could sit up unassisted and therefore could hold the bottle up and out of Abby's reach. She could also crawl and so could get away from Abby. I was amazed at how quickly and easily Abby was able to overcome these disadvantages.

The other little girl got the bottle, crawled a short distance away and started playing with it. Abby, for her part, oozed over to within striking distance and then pounced on the bottle. The other girl held the bottle up out of Abby's reach, but Abby was focused like a laser beam on her prize and simply climbed up the other girls torso, got a good grip on her arm and using her weight pulled it down. Then in a flurry of arms and grabs, she managed to get the bottle away from the other little girl.

You might be thinking that I should have stopped her. I shouldn't allow Abby to just take toys away from other children. I agree with this, but you have to realize that this all happened in a matter of seconds, and to be honest with you, I was a bit shocked. Her approach took some time, but the actual attack was over in an instant. Once it happened, I plucked her up and returned the bottle to the other girl. Which, by the way, elicited a noisy complaint from my own little girl.

So, Abby at just under six-months, out-muscled a nine-month old. She is a strong, aggressive and determined young lady. One of the other moms, who witnessed the spectacle, suggested that perhaps Abby will be a lawyer. "Perhaps," I thought. "Or perhaps, she'll be a professional wrestler."

At any rate, you've probably noticed that my posts have gotten a bit haphazard. What can I say other than state the obvious fact that life doesn't always lend itseld well to blogging.

I mentioned that Abby seems to have entered a period in which naps are optional. I just wanted to report that when I am have her at home and can keep a very close eye on her, I can get her down for her naps. Hopefully, this will improve going forward. After all, she changes significantly from day to day.

The Abby Report: September 8, 2009

Abby is a machine.

And I am but flesh and blood. She defeated me today.

I have been slightly worried about the fact that Abby does not sleep very well at day care, but today I saw her in action first hand. She woke up at 4:30, and she slept for a total of about an hour and 15 minutes all day. She just collapsed into a heap about ten minutes ago (6:30). I suppose that even machines can run out of fuel.

She simply did not stop moving all day. She played and played and played and explored and watched and looked and played. She got absolutely furious at me when I tried to get her to sleep, indeed when I even held her like I was trying to put her to sleep. She did eat pretty well today.

She is definitely a spitfire. I hope, for my sake, that this is just a phase, and that next week she'll settle into three hour-long naps a day. But for some reason, I am not optimistic.

The Abby Report: September 6 and 7, 2009

Abby is fighting the sleepies as I write this.

She was up at 4:00 a.m. ravenously hungry. She went back to sleep for a short time at around 5:15, and she had a fifteen minute nap at around 8:00 am. That nap was not nearly enough, so she has been very tired all morning. She is amazingly cute even when I am tired, and she is being a complete cranky britches.

I have tried to feed her, made sure that he diaper is clean, and now there is nothing to do but let gravity slowly wear her down. She's been in there whininig and fussing for about thirty minutes now, and she's just now starting to slow down.

I have to give credit where credit is due. She is a resilient little sleep resister.

Yesterday was a great day. Mommy, Abby and I had a cookout with Abby's friend and her parents. Abby and her friend actually managed to play together for a while without putting each other in danger. They got into a cycle of giggling, whereby one smiles at the other, causing the other to smile and giggle, causing the first smile and giggle, causing etc. It went on for a minute or so, and we absolutely adorable. It was also the first time that they clearly took note of each other and engaged in an arguably social way (i.e. no eyeball grabbing).

Getting Abby to sleep and eat regularly continues to be a challenge. My mother tells me that she had similar issues with me when I was a child. This would suggest that this particular trait is genetic. I hope that it is, so that when Abby has a child...

The Abby Report: September 5, 2009

It's looking like Abby will definitely have blonde hair (at least through early childhood).

Mommy has blonde hair, and I had blonde hair until it darkened when I was a teenager. I don't suppose that there is anything parricularly important about this fact, but it was something that I noticed this morning while I was playing with Abby in the bathroom mirror. For the first time, she struck me as a little baby with short hair rather than a baby with a bald head. So there is a really good chance that Abby is a blonde.

I am assisting this semester in a class on racism and sexism. The first essay ("Oppression" by Marilyn Frye)that the class has read tries to get clear about the concept of oppression. The author makes a compelling case for a particular notion of oppression and for the idea that women are oppressed in our society. I don't want to get too bogged down in this here, but the basic gist is that women are trapped by an interlocking system of values and rules that together make it impossible for her to gain genuine respect from men (and from other women as well). The author gives the following example. Women who are heterosexually active are negatively evaluated as "tramps" (or worse), but those who are not heterosexually active are also negatively evaluated as "prudes" who should "let their hair down." The point, of course, is that whichever way a woman acts, she receives a negative evaluation. She is damned if she does and damned if she doesn't.

The essay was published in 1983, and it is probably safe to say that things are at least a little better for women now and that things will continue to improve. But the basic picture that Frye paints is probably still operative today.

"What's with all of the feminist talk," you ask. "I thought this was a blog about stay-at-home fatherhood."

Well, it is. In a previous post, I spoke briefly about the difficulties of raising a woman in a world that is not particularly easy on women. I wonder how best to prepare Abby to deal with the challenges she'll face as a woman.

The Abby Report: September 2, 3 and 4, 2009

I think Abby's bones are straightening out.

Like most infants she appears to be slightly bow-legged. This is a normal effect of her time in the womb. But now all of sudden, she seems to have gotten a lot taller and a lot less pudgy. The simplest explanation is that her bones are straightening. She couldn't possibly be growing this fast, could she?

On an entirely different note, Abby absolutely loves books. There is no other toy or object that elicits quite the excited response as Where is Baby's Belly Button by Karen Katz. When I read it to her, she kicks her legs in excitement, coos and babbles in glee at each new page and does the flipping her self (though she is better at flipping down than she is at flipping up). After we've read it, she insists on grabbing the book and holding it herself. She turns it around and looks at it from different angles. She quickly gets frustrated, however, that she can't make it do the wonderful things that Daddy can. So, she gives it back to me with the obvious expectation that I will read it to her again. I've never managed to bore her with this book. I've read it to her five times in a row, and she would have happily listened to it again. She also likes The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle but not quite as much as the "Belly Button Book."

It would be a really great thing if she continues to enjoy books as she gets older (and straighter).

As for day-to-day life, we are still working on getting her to eat enough during her daycare time. I don't think that there is any reason to worry because she eats more in the evening on those days, so she always gets enough to eat. But she definitely doesn't eat as much during the day when she's there. The caregivers tell us that she just refuses to eat until she's very hungry, and I know exactly what they're talking about. Her sleeping at day care seems to have normalized.

We have a three-day weekend coming up, and we are planning to take Abby to the lake or maybe to the zoo.

The Abby Report: September 1, 2009

Abby went over to her friends house to play this afternoon.

After a nice long walk, Abby and her friend (and us Dads) went over to their house. It is really funny to watch them play together. They very obviously enjoy each other's company immensely, but they, of course, have no social skills. And of course, you can't take your eyes of them for even a second when they are together. Partly because their so cute, but mostly because they are particularly fascinated with each other's eyes. Sharp little fingernails on clumsy hands attached to arms that are barely under the control of a creature that is motivated only by curiosity do not mix well with eyeballs.

As I sure you can guess, all of the fun meant that Abby didn't get enough nap time today, so she was a bit of wreck this evening. Poor Mommy. She finally gets home from a long day at work and is welcomed by a crankypants.

After we got home from Abby's friends' place, I go started on the heavy child-proofing work (assembling a new bookshelf). I should be all finished by mid-September...2030.

The Abby Report: August 29, 30 and 31, 2009

Abby refuses to sleep.

So we had a busy weekend, so I had very little time to blog. The adjustment to the school being in session has been a tad intense, and my blogging (both reading and writing) has been de-prioritized. Hopefully, things will settle down over the next couple of weeks.

A result of Abby's latest growth spurt seems to be an increase in her ability to resist sleep. She slept pretty well over the last several nights, but she it has been next to impossible to get her to sleep during the day. Yesterday afternoon, though she she was clearly exhausted (rubbing her red eyes, yawning and fussy), she absolutely refused to go to sleep. She was in her crib with the lights off for almost two hours and never went to sleep. She had a full belly when we put her down, and she never really cried. She just played in her crib in the dark for the duration. Honestly, I don't think that I could lay in a bed for that long in the dark and not fall asleep.

It is entirely possible that she is shifting in her sleep habits. Supposedly babies transition from a lot of short naps to a couple of longer ones. Her mid-day nap has slowly become longer and longer, and her morning and afternoon naps have shortened (or disappeared entirely). If this is indeed what is happening, this may turn out to be a good thing. If she actually settles into a regular nap schedule, it will make it easier for me to plan her day's activities. Or maybe I'm living in a fantasy world. I guess we'll see.

Abby, Mommy and I went out on Saturday and bought the last major piece of the child-proofing puzzle, so this week, I will be rearranging and reshuffling our books and furniture to hopefully their final configuration.

All-in-all life with Abby continues apace. We are settling into as much of a routine as is possible with a rapidly changing baby in her first year. But it's wonderful, and I can't imagine life without her.

The Abby Report: August 28, 2009

Abby is growing like a weed.

Yes, it appears that our little girl is in the midst of another growth spurt. She burned through no less than six bottles yesterday, which is the most that she has ever eaten in a single twenty-four hour period. And after another fitful night, she woke up the morning ravenous.

According to the experts, increased appetite and disrupted sleep are sure fire signs of a growth period, and Abby is just about due for the one that comes at around six months. Mommy noticed that she seemed a little more lithe (or perhaps it would be better to say a little less plump) yesterday, and I have to say that I agree. I can't say that I've ever actually seen her growing, but it must be possible. She is growing so fast.

There are also a lot of little behavioral changes that seemed to have occurred in the last four or five days. When I picked her up from daycare on Monday, she made this sound that had distinctly linguistic features. It was a short, staccato sound that nonetheless had a sort of questioning intonation - a low to high shift in pitch. I answered her with the same (alright an approximation) of the sound but with a declarative intonation - high to low shift in pitch. She then made the sound again, but with my intonation pattern instead of her original one.

It may have just been random, but she was looking right at me throughout the interchange. It occurred right when I first saw her after a long day apart. Before and during the interchange, she wasn't smiling, but immediately afterwards, she gave me a big smile. She has made similar sounds since, but none of them had the call and response features of this little "conversation."

At any rate, I found it exciting, and I thought I would pass it along. She is also making much more complex sounds in general - multi-syllabic sequences of sounds with different and distinct intonation patterns. She reaches for things that she wants to grab and doesn't forget about them when they are out of her sight - a clear indication that she is getting her head around the notion of object permanence.

Her interactions with mirrors have gotten more interesting, as well. Whereas before, she would occasionally notice and smile at the baby in the mirror, now she sees the image in the mirror and then looks behind it for the baby. She is cluing in to the fact that there is something up with the mirror. It is a strange thing when you think about it.

Now keep in mind that all of this has been going on before the current growth period. I'm sure she'll have more surprises in store for us over the next several weeks.

The Abby Report: August 27, 2009

Abby is a great little girl.

After having her in daycare yesterday, I realized how much I had missed her. All of the anxieties about leaving her with someone else aside, she is just a joy to have around.

She is laughs easily and smiles even more easily. She is affectionate and absolutely loves to sit in the nook of my arm and play. She likes to fall asleep there, too. She looks up at me every few minutes and gives me a big toothless grin. She absolutely loves to play and explore, and her adventures are often punctuated with squeals of joy.

Even when she is fussy, she can't resist a smile in her direction. It is the cutest thing. She'll be red-faced crying, but if you make eye contact and break into a big smile, she starts to laugh. She'll catch herself quickly and start crying again, but she seems to realize that the gravitas of her fuss has been irrevocably lost.

She did much better in daycare yesterday, getting most of her sleep and more to eat. She was in pretty good shape when I picked her up, and she greeted me with a huge smile. She seems to have captured the heart of the caretakers' younger daughter. The little girl looks to be between ten and twelve, and she was absolutely fawning over Abby when I was signing her out. Evidently, Abby is quite the hit because she cackles when other children play in front of her.

It is a common game for parents to try and guess what elements of a baby's behavior are indicative of their eventual adult personality. If she grows up to be anything like she is now, she is going to be a wonderful person.

The Abby Report: August 26, 2009

Abby is, for lack of a better word, stubborn.

I finally have two minutes to rub together. I mentioned that the only real issue with Abby's first day was that she didn't eat or sleep nearly enough. The lack of sleep turned out to be the bigger problem, because it may have thrown her sleep schedule off. She has not slept well since. Last night particularly was bad. She seemed to wake up and fuss for about ten minutes every hour and a half or so. I never actually had to get her up. The one time that I actually went into her room, I just put her pacifier in her mouth, and she immediately fell back to sleep. She just didn't sleep soundly. It may have nothing to do with how tired she was on Monday afternoon, but it's a plausible explanation.

When I dropped her off this morning, I talked to them about her sleeping and eating needs and gave them some tips on getting her in the right frame of mind. She's just too engaged with the things going on around her, and she needs to be separated from them to relax. I can only imagine what the day care center must be like for her. Pure mind and eye candy. Definitely not to be missed. Hence, my claim about her being stubborn. When something interesting is going on, she simply refuses to eat or sleep. It doesn't matter how hungry or tired she is, she is too stubborn to let her bodily needs slow her down. So she gets way past where she should be on the hunger and fatigue. Once the stimulation is toned down, she immediately wants to eat and will then go to sleep. I'm not sure what to do about this, or even if this something that I should even try to do something about.

I am hopeful that the daycare will be good for her. She is accustomed to the relatively quiet and peaceful home with Daddy, so maybe the more lively daycare will teach her to deal with the stimulation in a better way. I hope so, because I'm not sure what else I can do.

So, I've just decided to kind of relax about all of this. This is only her second day away from home after all. There may not be anything to be worried about all, and if there is, it will likely improve on its own in time.

And I'm pretty sure that she gets her stubbornness from her Mom.

The Abby Report: August 25, 2009

So these transitional times (starting school, Abby in daycare, schedule reconciling) are always difficult logistically, so I didn't have time to blog today.

More soon.

The Abby Report: August 24, 2009

Abby loved day care.

Perhaps too much.

I, on the other hand, was a wreck.

But all in all, it was a success.

Abby didn't eat or sleep as much as she should have, which we have learned is typical for her when she gets a lot of stimulation. When I got her home, she quickly caught up on her food intake, But she was too tired to sleep. After a little effort on my part and the timely arrival of reinforcements from Mommy, she finally collapsed into sweet oblivion - apparently none the worse for the wear.

She seemed to have had a great time, and honestly when I picked her up, she didn't really look like she wanted to leave. Ooh. There's a kick in the gut. After a few minutes though, she gave me a huge smile and was obviously glad to see me.

It's been a long and tiring day, so I'm signing off now. I'll have more time to write up my thoughts tomorrow.

And Abby will be at home with me - right where she belongs.

The Abby Report: August 23, 2009

Abby is not lazy.

She makes no distinctions between early morning and mid-afternoon, between weekdays and weekends or between sleepy parents and wide-awake parents. She is either awake or she is asleep.

On weekends (especially), I enjoy being awake and inactive. This is what I call being lazy. Not so for Abby. If she is awake, she is always active. Even if she is tired, she is up to something. While I am rocking her to sleep, she will fight, cry and push away right up until the moment that she falls asleep. She is an exploring, tasting, playing and experience absorbing machine. If she had an area of expertise, a job and a longer attention span, she would be the most productive person I have ever seen.

So again, tomorrow is the big first day in day care. Can you tell that I am obsessed with it? I have a pit in my stomach. Does this happen to everyone?

The Abby Report: August 22, 2009

Abby has met her match.

We just got back from a major shopping spree, in which we purchased most of our child-proofing supplies. We spent quite a bit of money, but from what I hear children get less and less expensive as they grow older. That is true, isn't it?

We have pressure gates, adjustable indoor fencing (for lack of a better word), a balcony rail barrier, electrical outlet plugs, bi-fold door blocks, and cabinet locks. For the next two weekends, I will be locking this place down.

A short post today. Hey, it's the weekend.

The Abby Report: August 21, 2009

Abby appears to (a) read this blog and (b) have a rather devious sense of humor.

After I bragged yesterday that she had settled back into her schedule, Abby proved me wrong this morning. She was awake at about 3:45 though she didn't really demand attention until about 4:15. So I have a new theory about Abby's sleeping habits: She wakes up early when I blog about how regular her sleep is.

In all seriousness, Abby has had a fitful day today. She's just been a little off. She was asleep during the playgroup (rescheduled from yesterday due to rain), so we missed that. And she's been a tad cantankerous in general. I suppose this is her prerogative, but it would be nice if she didn't do this to me when I am light on sleep.

Alright enough complaining about little things and on to bigger things. I will be taking Abby to day care for the first time on Monday. It's the first day of the semester for me, so not only do I have a very emotional day but also a very busy one.

She will be staying with a family (husband, wife and adult daughter) that runs a home day care in the neighborhood. It is very close to where we live, and we have thoroughly researched them. They are Colombian, so they will expose Abby to Spanish (they speak English as well). We definitely want Abby to learn Spanish, so this is something that I was very much hoping would be possible. The bottom line is that the situation is excellent, and we have every reason to believe that Abby will be very well taken care of. Furthermore, Abby has shown that she loves people, does well with a lot of people and loves other children. So we also have good reasons to believe that she will enjoy herself.

But none of this means that I am not dreading the moment.

The Abby Report: August 20, 2009

Abby has made her first enemy.

It seems that one of our cats has an issue with Abby showing up on the scene and stealing the lionshare of the snuggles.

Abby has only very recently taken any interest in the cats, and her focus stays mostly on their tails as they walk by. For their part, the cats have mostly ignored her, and on the few occasions that they have come into proximity with her, they've seemed content to let her touch their tails.

Well today, all that changed. Our female cat, who is the twitchier of the two, was sitting on the back of the sofa very close to where I was holding Abby in a standing position. Abby showed interest, so I let Abby get close enough to touch the cat on her side. Then without warning, the cat boxed Abby in the head. I jumped and pulled her back, which I think scared Abby more than the cat's attack. She ended up with a couple of small scratches on her head, and she cried mightily for about 30 seconds. Then she cheered right up.

I cleaned the scratches immediately with a dab of alcohol and a topical antiseptic. Interestingly, the alcohol on her skin made Abby cry more than the actual scratching. Could it be a memory of the vaccinations that she's gotten? Or perhaps it just stung a bit.

I also read up on the symptoms of cat scratch disease, so don't worry, I'll be watching for the signs of that. If If I see any of them, I'll call the doctor.

On a different note, Abby appears to have settled back down from the trip. For the first day or so, her schedule was definitely disrupted, but yesterday and today, she has been right as rain. Good long and regular daytime naps, timely bottles and good, undisturbed (and undisturbing!) nighttime sleep. She has actually slept and eaten a little more than she was before the trip. Perhaps she is catching up on the loss, or maybe she's hitting another growth spurt.

She also continues her progress towards crawling. She inchworms and rolls towards her destinations with relative ease, but she still hasn't coordinated her arms and her legs for the real thing.

Oh, and one more thing that I just have to get off my chest:

Stupid cat!

The Abby Report, August 17, 18 and 19, 2009

Abby loves people.

For the first time, I've missed a couple of posts, and to my regular readers, I apologize. It is difficult when we are traveling to find two minutes to rub together to even write that I don't have time to write. At any rate, I've some catching up to do.

Abby did amazingly well on the two plane rides. She is getting more interested in indepedent play, so she chafes at being held too long. This caused some minor fusses here and there, but the only real problem was when the plane was descending into Chicago. She really cried the whole way down, and it was clear that her ears were bothering her. It is not a pleasant thing to know that your child is hurting and not to be able to do anything about it. We had a bottle and pacifier ready, but once she got upset, she wouldn't take them. Just as we were landing, her ears must have popped, because she abruptly stopped crying and collapsed into sleep. She didn't wake up until we were almost home on the El.

Other than that unpleasantness, the trip was fantastic. My grandparents very generously paid for a group of us to see Paul McCartney in Peidmont Park on Saturday evening. So for the first time, we left Abby with a babysitter (in this case my father,"Pops" and his wife, "Yaya") for an extended period. Mommy and I haven't gone out together for an evening like this since Abby was born. So, we are seeing Paul McCartney, and of course all we can talk or think about is Abby. Don't get me wrong. The show was great, and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. But we missed our little girl.

We also went out with some friends on Sunday afternoon and evening as well, so Abby had a second night with Pops and Yaya. Here's the thing. By all measures, Abby had a great time and didn't appear to even realize that we were gone for any long period of time. The key was that my sister's two-year-old son was there as well, and he and Abby hit it off big time. We, of course, were gone when all of this going on, but evidently Abby was absolutely cackling at her cousin. He would hide and jump out peek-a-boo style, and she would shriek gleefully. We saw some videos of this interplay, and I must say that we've never seen her having quite this much fun.

So, we've learned a few thing about Abby. She loves other children (or at least her cousin), and she does not get overwhelmed when there are a lot of people around. This, of course, is good news because she starts daycare next week.

Yes. Day care. Two-days a week. Starting on Monday, August 24 when the semester starts up. I am NOT looking forward to it. The very thought makes my heart clench. I'll write more on this as the day approaches.

The Abby Report: August 16, 2009

Abby is asleep.

This post is coming a little early in the day because I will be out and about this afternoon.

A couple of interesting things happened yesterday. For the first time, Abby stayed with baby-sitters for an extended period of time. The lucky couple was her Pops and Yaya (my father and his wife). Mommy and I went to see Paul McCartney (and yes he did, in fact, play Eleanor Rigby).

McCartney was great, but what was really interesting is how well Abby has hit it off with her cousin, my sister's two-year old boy. Consider this a teaser, as I don't have time to do the story justice right now.

But prepare for cuteness...

The Abby Report: August 15, 2009

Today is another busy day, and I don't have the time for a robust post.

There will be more tomorrow.

The Abby Report: August 14, 2009

Abby did very well during her first plane ride.

She did cry for a very short time, but it was actually kind of funny. The flight was delayed briefly for a maintenance issue, and she started fussing immediately after the pilot made the announcement that we would be sitting at the gate for an extra forty-five minutes. It seemed as if the announcement made her cry, though I'm sure that quite a few of our fellow passengers didn't interpret it this way.

But she didn't cry for long and slept through most of the flight. Have I mentioned how lucky we are? She is an amazingly easy-going and well-behaved baby.

And last night she met a lot of new people including her great-grandma, great-grandpa, two aunts, three uncles, and a cousin. She met a great uncle earlier today.

She has also made a big advance in her development. She's getting up on all fours and can effortlessly get her knees under her hips. She pushes off with her knees and sort of inch-worms forward. She hasn't quite gotten the hand motion down, but it's coming.

We are all going to dinner tonight, and she'll meet one more aunt.

The Abby Report: August 13, 2009

No time to blog, but we are safely in Atlanta. Abby is the talk of the town.

The Abby Report: August 12, 2009

Abby has a very big day tomorrow.

She is going to fly on a plane for the first time. We are all going to Atlanta to meet her great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We'll be flying all afternoon, so needless to say it may be difficult to get a substantive Abby Report posted before it gets late in the evening. I'll do my best, and at the very least, I'll let everyone know that we arrived safely.

Yesterday was an enjoyable day. We went for a nice long walk with Abby's friend and her Daddy. I have started facing Abby forward in the stroller rather than putting her in the rear-facing bucket seat. She seems to really enjoy seeing the world this way, and I rarely hear a squeak out of her. As I said yesterday, she is an explorer and she seems to take the world in one great draught after the other. She especially loves trees in the breeze and flowers.

On the developmental front, Abby is pushing herself up on all fours more and more often and for longer and longer times, especially when she's angry. It won't be long... She's also started to consistently use the "ma..ma" sound when she's cranky with me. It's not language yet, but it's getting to be a regular thing.

So, we will return to Chicago on Tuesday afternoon, so the next few days may be sketchy with respect to the Abby Report. But there will at least be something of an update every day and perhaps a teaser or two for some upcoming discussions. In that grain, I am currently working up part two of the Religion and Morality series, so look for that towards the end of next week.

The Abby Report: August 11, 2009

I'm sitting here watching Abby play on her blanket.

I have her sort of walled in between the sofa, the pack-and-play and the chair I'm sitting in. She has several of her favorite toys strewn around her. But she's been there for a good fifteen minutes, so the toys have gotten boring. Instead she is moseying around the blanket, pulling up its corners, examining the sofa, investigating the outside of the pack-and-play. Every minute or so, she pauses in to look up at me and smile. I suppose she wants to make sure that I'm still here, and I can assure everyone that I am. Every time she does it, I am hit with an almost irresistible urge to swoop her up and give her hugs and kisses.

The challenge is to keep her on the blanket. We have a fairly new wool rug that is still shedding fuzz. This process is supposed to come to an end eventually, but until then I am trying to minimize the amount of wool that Abby gets into her mouth. As long as she's on the blanket, she can safely enjoy some freedom to snoop around unhindered.

Considering that she can in no way crawl, it amazes me that she is, for all practical purposes, mobile. She kind of has an amoeba like roll and ooze that though seemingly random and aimless actually gets her more or less where she wants to go. It often happens that she sees something that interests her, but in the process of trying to get to it, she gets distracted by something else that grabs her attention. But eventually she gets back to the original plan.

As I mentioned, she all but ignores her toys. It is the world that interests her - the shiny base of the stool that I am using as a laptop table, the laptop's power cable, the sofa's feet, the wall. Anything and everything within range of any of her senses gets some attention. She is an explorer, and there will be no stopping her when she can actually crawl.

For some reason, the prospect of Abby crawling is hitting me pretty hard. It is the infant version of learning to drive, and it pushes my thoughts out in front of it like a bulldozer. It makes me think forward to all of the challenges that will come. How do I teach her about her personal safety? What about drinking and drugs? How do I handle it when she's bullied? What if she is a bully? Racism? It looks like she's going to have blond hair. How do I explain blond jokes to her? What about sexism in general? Not to mention sex itself. All of these questions quickly overwhelm me.

"Whoa!" you say. "She's just shy of five months old! Slow down!"

You're right to think this, of course. And for the most part, I do take every day deliberately and each little problem in turn, thoughtfully and mindfully savoring every sweet moment and all the tender slices of life with my baby girl. That being said, it's impossible and, I think, unwise not to think and plan ahead. But today I can just take a deep breath because right now the problem is simple and its solution is easy.

I just need a bigger blanket.

I wonder how big they come.

The Abby Report: August 10, 2009

Abby was a big hit with her aunt and uncle.

We had a wonderful weekend with them. They left early this morning, and fortunately Abby woke up early enough to see them off.

Yesterday was busy a busy one, and I simply had no time for blogging. We tried to take Abby to the lake again, but it seems that the whole population of the city had a similar idea. After driving around for almost an hour looking for a parking place, we were not able to find one. We settled for a trip to Baskin-Robbins, where Abby got to see lots of things. She is, unfortunately, still too young for sweets, so she couldn't try the ice cream. But don't worry about her, she had great fun looking at all the pictures and bright colors in the store.

After our ice cream, we all went over to Abby's friends house and had a cookout. The girls played with each other, but soon got tired. After a few minutes of fussing, they both went to sleep with Abby in a pack-in-play and her friend in her crib. There was quite the drama for a few minutes with two babies "crying it out," but it didn't last too long, and they both slept soundly for the rest of the evening. We had to wake Abby up to take her home (a five minute walk), but after eating, she went right down until morning.

So this accounts for most of what we did over the weekend, but I wanted to mention a strange ... feeling that I had while my sister and brother-in-law were here. I've read about how it is common for new mother's to feel a twinge of sadness once her baby is born because up until the birth the baby was hers alone in a very special (and obvious) way. Seeing someone else hold the baby, even the father, can set off the sort of feeling that I'm talking about. It's a feeling of loss and perhaps jealously and is completely understandable. What's interesting is that I have been having a feeling that is similar to how I imagine the new mom's feeling must be.

It came over me very strongly when I was watching her aunt and uncle hold and play with her, but I realize now that this isn't at all the first time that I've felt it. It's just the first time that I've isolated it in such a way that I can talk about it. I've also felt it very strongly when I've left Abby in the nursery at the Y. It is very strange to see someone besides Mommy or myself holding Abby. The feeling is a sort of vague sadness like when you feel nostalgia or homesickness. Don't get me wrong, Abby's aunt and uncle are wonderful and sweet people who Abby obviously loved playing with, but I can't deny that I felt this way.

This may sound silly and obvious, but after thinking about this feeling and what was on my mind when I experienced it, I believe its source is a sort of dawning actualization of the fact that Abby isn't really ours in any profound way. By "actualization" I mean something deeper than mere realization. It is one thing to realize that Abby is her own person, but it is another thing entirely to deal emotionally and psychologically with this fact. And it is the latter that I am calling "actualization."

She is her own person, and she will, of course, make her own relationships with other people. I do believe that having Abby as our daughter is a deep connection with her, but this isn't the "our" of possession.

But right now, I think I'm going to pretend that it is. A least for a little while longer.